Wednesday, October 23, 2013

This should only happen in the movies

Happy Wednesday! I've been wanting to write this post for awhile but because it may seem a little harsh, I wasn't too sure about it. But I needed a laugh today and thought I might get a laugh out of you all also. Know that this is something I'd never normally throw around and I'm never this mean but it's just so funny

The lovely Ashley always talks about how she, and her hubby Joey, have awesome neighbor. Going out for drinks or having game night. In a perfect world, that's how I'd love for our future neighbors to be. Around our age and similar to Brian and I. It may happen and it may not, it wouldn't make it or break it though, of course. Right now though, we still live with my parents. We live on a street with 6 other houses. My parents, along with the owners of 5 of the other houses, have lived on this street since I was born, and even before that. So, needless to say, they've all become friends. We wouldn't all get together or anything but we chat in the street and help each other out during the winter. These other people are around my parents age so it's always quiet around this part of the neighborhood.

Our street is perpendicular to two streets, one on either end of ours. Which means if you drove down each end of our street and just kept going, you'd crash into a house. There are many houses around us also, we've met some who are very nice and for the most part are all very quiet....

Except for one, and we learned that the hard way. Back up to 2011. During the summer Brian seemed to have alot of early morning shifts. After getting up for the day, I'd take Bailey around the block for a small walk. I tried to do it everyday if it wasn't hot out. On one particular day I made the mistake of letting my niceness go too far. We walked down our street and saw that a woman and two little kids were outside on the lawn at the house right at the end of our street. The woman asked if they could pet Bailey. I always try to let kids pet him because they enjoy it and he doesn't care. So I let them, and then me and the woman started chatting. Big mistake. I mentioned I had to keep walking but we'd say hello again soon. That was the beginning of the craziness.

I swear to you it feels like this whole thing should only happen in the movies, it's just that unbelievably hilarious. For the next few months I'd chat with the woman and her girls almost everyday. They come up to our house to say hello and I'd stop by while walking Bailey if they were outside. It seemed fine at first. Granted this woman is about 50 so it's not like I could really connect with her but it was just nice to have someone to say hello to. But then she started wanting to chat a little too much. I'd walk Bailey after supper a few times and she started insisting on coming. She was going through personal things so I felt bad but finally I had to cut her off. She realized it and was upset at first

And then the craziness started. It might have went on before this but no one had noticed it. Now we knew what she was like so it made sense that things happened. She's basically the talk our part of the neighborhood but I don't think she knows it. We all call her "crazy lady". 

Here are a few of her crazies:

1) Don't blame others for your missing dog: she decided she wanted to dog. Big dogs. Ok fine. The problem was that she's careless and a day after getting these dogs, one got loose and disappeared. We all couldn't help but laugh because how do you do that in one day? The second dog would get out here and there. But one day went nuts. Brian watched the whole thing while, luckily, my mom and I had taken Bailey on a car ride. the dog ran up our street, went to the restroom on our side lawn, without her picking it up, then ran around the block about 3 times while she ran trying to catch him. She then decided to blame my best friends' grandmother for the missing dog and claims "she took him". 

2) Everything has directions, you should follow them: It was a typical day. My dad went outside and looked at her house and saw a firetruck and police. The firetruck and police are at this lady's house ALOT for no reason. But this time it smelled like something was burring. My dad, along with two other neighbors went to check it out, and were informed by the cop that she had put plastic in the oven and that it caught fire. Smart

3) Maybe we aren't home: one afternoon Brian and I were both home. Both busy doing homework. The doorbell brings and it's this woman and her girls. I was in the kitchen and tried to hide so she didn't seem me. I had no interest in talking. She rang two more times. I understand there's a car in the driveway but that shouldn't mean anything. I didn't hear them so I thought they had left...and then I hear the gate. she proceed to walk into our backyard with the girls to see if we were there. I cant even figure out what thought process she used to assume she could just go open our gate.

4) Don't be dramatic: This was a killer one. This is the one that said the feud on fire. This was 2 years ago. My dad always calls when he's coming home from work. This was the job before his current one. He'd leave work about 4:45 and get home around 5:30. I don't think he called on this day. Until about 5:25pm. I answered think he was giving us a 10 minute warming. He was calm with chuckle in his voice and said "I'll be delayed a bit, I'm talking to a cop". Um what? He had just got into a fender bender. As he laughs and whispers into the phone "it was with crazy lady". I think I almost fainted. It was shocking. He was fine and got home and explained the story. He was behind her, she stopped suddenly and he just couldn't stop. He said he felt the brakes more than the impact. He got out and went to the driver's door, not knowing who it was at the time. The woman was on the phone and basically put her hand up to him saying "wait, I'm busy". While he waited he looked into the backseat and realized the two girls were there, and then he knew who it was. She got out, hysterically crying and put her head on his shoulder, while her girls stood on the other side of the car all alone. She then got a grip and looked at him saying "do I know you". He said he was my father and she goes "oh my gosh!" and was probably thinking "what did I get myself into". Even with a witness, they deemed my dad at fault of course. The police and ambulance came and she felt "back pain" so they put her on a stretcher and neck brace and took her to the hospital. We're still trying to figure out how that even makes sense. She was and is fine. She asked for money for her "injuries". They wanted to settle with her for $1,000 but she wanted more.

5) Don't leave your girls under 5 with an animal: one day I went to say hello and she was sitting on her front steps with a little hamster inside a blanket. the poor thing was all wet. She then told me the girls had put the thing in the toilet to play. I had no connect....

There are many more small things but those just topped the cake. It's just hilarious and we all secretly thank her everyday for the laughs. :) 

Have an enjoyable day!


Anonymous said...

I feel like everyone has a neighbor that is a little crazy, but this lady sounds like a piece of work! Lol

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